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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Living with Disabilities / Viewing Topic

My story [For anyone who wants to read]
Replies: 17Last Post Oct. 7 1:37pm by brickster2008
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( Jman19 )


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I thought I'd post this for anyone looking for hope, or just something to read. There is always hope.  

--

November 5 2007, Guy Fawke's Day. The plan was to meet my girlfriend so that we could go to a fireworks show, something we'd both been looking forward to. I didn't make it. It was raining, and I was in a hurry. I had to meet her in less than 10 minutes, and didn't want to confirm my reputation for being late, so being 18, male and stupid, I sped.

Wrong decision. I misjudged a corner turn and lost all control. I don't remember much else about that day from then on, but I do remember theI car flipping a couple of times and thinking I was going to die before I blacked out. Apparently I had to be cut out of the car. I'm not sure how long it was before someone called for help, and I'm glad I don't.

The next thing I clearly remember was waking up in a hospital bed about a week later, surrounded by machines. My mum was sitting worriedly by my bed. I asked her what was wrong. She said, "Well Jay, you're going to hear this from doctors anyway, so I may as well tell you. You broke your neck." I then naively asked her when I'd be able to leave, and when I'd be able to play rugby again, to which she replied "I think you'll be here for a long time yet. As for rugby, I'm not sure you'll ever be able to play again. You're paralysed, Jay." Paralysed? What did she mean?

I soon found out that my chances of even walking again were slim. I would spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. It was really difficult for me coming to terms with that, and in some ways, I still don't want to believe it. How could I spend the rest of my life as a cripple? I was one of the most active guys I knew.

I spent Christmas, New Year, and my birthday in February in hospital, and I hated it. While all my friends were out partying, I was stuck trying to learn to adjust to life in a wheelchair. It wasn't fair, but I continued to make good progress in hope I'd soon be home.

Five months after the accident, I was finally free to go home. It was great to be out of the hospital, but I soon found that life was anything but easy. I had to learn how to push myself in the wheelchair, which gave me blisters and callouses on my hands, as well as learning how to toilet, shower, and dress myself. Toileting is probably the worst thing about having a spinal cord injury. I won't go into too much detail, but I have little control over my bladder or bowel, and so use a catheter and bag. Not fun!

I have no feeling from about my bellybutton down. I get pins and needles in my hands and fingers often, and as a result of the accident, no longer sweat, which means I have to be really careful not to overheat in hot weather.

A couple of months ago, I managed  to be independent enough to move into a place with a friend. Life continues to be challenging, but the most important thing to me is being independent. I'm learning to drive again with the help of hand controls. At first I was pretty reluctant, but am a careful driver now.

I do most of what I did before I was in a chair. I hang out with friends, drink, party, go to the gym, typical things every nineteen year old does. I no longer play sport of course, and am a permanent fixture on the sideline, which is probably what I miss the most.

Overall, I try not to focus too much on the negatives, and continue to look ahead to the future. I can't take it back, so I may as well not dwell on the past. That's not to say I don't get depressed, I'm the first to admit that I have plenty of down days. If anything, my injury has given me a completely new perspective on life and an admiration for those much worse off. That, in my opinion, is priceless.

--

So yeah, there's my novel if anyone wants a read.

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Rickie rocks my world so hard,
that I named my pet hedgehog after her.


11:51 pm on Oct. 4, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2008 | 50 Days Active
Join to learn more about Jman19 Antarctica | Male | 1436 Posts | 2033 Points
Handmade Hero


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I like your story.

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I dont date guys from China cause thats a big red flag.

11:54 pm on Oct. 4, 2008 | Joined Sep. 2008 | 17 Days Active
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CherryD


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 I remember someone else called Jay also is in a wheelchair. =/

 So whatever happened to your girlfriend?

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History Lesson:
Me: "Why do we need so many sources?"
Friend: "To go with our french fries?"


11:54 pm on Oct. 4, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2007 | 266 Days Active
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imakethetest66


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I like your story and I hope a lot more people read it and reply. I like how you can still move on with your life even though something such as this happened. You're a strong minded person. I know you get down like the rest of us, but I bet it's easier for you to get back up. Keep going strong, man.

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- Eat me!
- You're beautiful, Carolyn.

12:09 am on Oct. 5, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2005 | 579 Days Active
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( Jman19 )


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My girlfriend ended up breaking up with me and moving on. That's OK; obviously she wasn't 'the one'.

Thanks for the positive replies and words of encouragement. I hope many read it and reply also.

-------
Rickie rocks my world so hard,
that I named my pet hedgehog after her.


12:57 am on Oct. 5, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2008 | 50 Days Active
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MaryLin


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Wow, that's a great story and you don't seem to be negative at all. Do you have any chances to ever start walking again?

3:52 am on Oct. 5, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2006 | 670 Days Active
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Duffasaurus


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You could do the wheelchair races! :D Those always looked like fun...But idk, maybe they're not fun when you're finally in the position to do them... :-/

8:22 am on Oct. 5, 2008 | Joined Aug. 2007 | 227 Days Active
Join to learn more about Duffasaurus Virginia, United States | Gay Male | 1147 Posts | 3459 Points
JohnTheNormalOne


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Its so sad to see how your life completely changed in a moment... It must have been very hard for you, like a really bad dream... But, at least, its good to see that you are thinking positively and are returning to normal life as much as possible. I really hope you get to start walking again.

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I don't agree with my username...  -.-

2:44 pm on Oct. 5, 2008 | Joined Mar. 2007 | 159 Days Active
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phosphorescence


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crazy.

-------
Function: noun
2 : an enduring luminescence without sensible heat

2:57 pm on Oct. 5, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 90 Days Active
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Muser


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Kudos to you

Acquiring a disability like that during life must be one of the most difficult challenges one will ever face.

I too have a physical disability (arm), though I was born with it so I have it far easier than you. And also losing loss of your legs so instantaneously would have been so hard.

It's good you've gained some independence, thats always important.

Also about your girlfriend. Having a physical disability can be a blessing sometimes, it really sorts out the jerks from the people who are worthwhile. Eventually you're going to find someone who couldn't careless about it.



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I said we're sinking
There's nothing here, but thats's okay


12:35 am on Oct. 6, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2008 | 30 Days Active
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rickyspeople


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i know i'm not the only one wondering..


how does the equipment work? can you get an erection, or do you have no sensitivity there too?

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what are you, gossipy?
i ♥ swya


8:04 pm on Oct. 6, 2008 | Joined April 2005 | 287 Days Active
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( Jman19 )


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I can't feel my dick, if that's what you're wondering. I still get erections though. I could have sex, I just wouldn't feel anything, I suppose.

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Rickie rocks my world so hard,
that I named my pet hedgehog after her.

11:31 pm on Oct. 6, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2008 | 50 Days Active
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phosphorescence


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Quote: from Jman19 at 2:31 am on Oct. 7, 2008

I can't feel my dick, if that's what you're wondering. I still get erections though. I could have sex, I just wouldn't feel anything, I suppose.

oh wow. that sucks, dude. that makes me feel really bad. how do you deal with that? not to pry or anything... jw how that effects you in life and relationships and such. that must really bug you :[

-------
Function: noun
2 : an enduring luminescence without sensible heat


11:55 pm on Oct. 6, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 90 Days Active
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( Jman19 )


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Quote: from phosphorescence at 11:55 pm on Oct. 6, 2008

Quote: from Jman19 at 2:31 am on Oct. 7, 2008

I can't feel my dick, if that's what you're wondering. I still get erections though. I could have sex, I just wouldn't feel anything, I suppose.

oh wow. that sucks, dude. that makes me feel really bad. how do you deal with that? not to pry or anything... jw how that effects you in life and relationships and such. that must really bug you :[/quote]

I haven't had a sexual relationship since before the accident, so I'm not sure how it would affect me. I don't masturbate, as there's really no point since I can't feel anything lol.

-------
Rickie rocks my world so hard,
that I named my pet hedgehog after her.


12:10 am on Oct. 7, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2008 | 50 Days Active
Join to learn more about Jman19 Antarctica | Male | 1436 Posts | 2033 Points
Acid World


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Quote: from Jman19 at 12:10 am on Oct. 7, 2008

Quote: from phosphorescence at 11:55 pm on Oct. 6, 2008

Quote: from Jman19 at 2:31 am on Oct. 7, 2008

I can't feel my dick, if that's what you're wondering. I still get erections though. I could have sex, I just wouldn't feel anything, I suppose.
 

 oh wow. that sucks, dude. that makes me feel really bad. how do you deal with that? not to pry or anything... jw how that effects you in life and relationships and such. that must really bug you :[/quote]

I haven't had a sexual relationship since before the accident, so I'm not sure how it would affect me. I don't masturbate, as there's really no point since I can't feel anything lol.


Well now I'm interested.

Since you have no feeling down there do you even really get sexual urges anymore? It seems like it hasn't effected you much, so I'm assuming you just lost your sex drive. Otherwise that would be frustrating as hell.

If you did lose your sex drive though I think that'd be a god-send. Sex already muddles up enough of my thoughts and decisions.

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ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH


6:36 am on Oct. 7, 2008 | Joined Jan. 2007 | 426 Days Active
Join to learn more about Acid World Texas, United States | Straight Male | 8100 Posts | 5776 Points
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