and the one time i asked people to go with me to malibu high so i wouldn't have to unregister alone, nobody would do it. it was the least you people could do. sure, it's fine if you had an appointment or something, but if you didn't go just because you didn't want to go, it's like come on! i guess i can't really call most people here my "real" friends.

maybe its the culture here? maybe its just malibu? maybe i grew up too fast? maybe i didnt make it known that i actually DO have more feelings about smaller things than most people do? maybe i should have shown that i actually do get put down when somebody takes my cup of coffee and drinks it without even asking me. or when i'm completely ignored by some people for some reason. or the times when i ask people to wait for me somewhere while i leave for a minute or two, and then come back realizing that nobody is there, and then i go look for them, and once i find them, they think i'm just all chill with it and everything. or when people ask me for money? i mean, i sometimes have people asking me for 20+ dollars at a time. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! 20 dollars?! they know that i'll give it to them too, and that's why they ask. i think i should tell you guys that i actually DO get very hurt when you ask me for money, because i cant even get myself to say no, and you people know that i can't say no. and dont even start me about girls, every time i like a girl they ALWAYS talk to me about how they're being hurt by some other guy that she likes. and then i'm just sitting there not even knowing what to think. yeah, you know what, i need a new place, fuck this place. i'm not appreciated here. i'm completely unappreciated here. one day some certain people will understand and see what i'm talking about.

byebye, i have to go back to oak park, my new home, unfortunately. see you guys next weekend. and when you finally do see what im talking about, please tell me."

that was my myspace bulletin this morning.