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Anonymous
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and sorry for all the typos.
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11:45 am on Aug. 29, 2008
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Lulamae
Wealthy Hobo
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I guess you just don't cut it.
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JennyColada
I'm watching you.
Patron
Support Leader
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Well, I can really see both sides. I think I would feel very hurt as well, if I were in your position. It's hard to know that your relationship, through no fault of your own, could just be gone in an instant. She cares for you though, and she wouldn't be breaking up with you because you make her unhappy. On the other side, though, I can totally relate to her. She wants to experience life, and really, college is the time to do that. She doesn't want a relationship to hold her back, she has dreams and goals, like all of us. It's a scary thing to decide to move so far away, and to leave your life behind, but that doesn't mean that staying home just so that you can stay with a high school sweetheart is worth it. No offense of course. Most high school relationships aren't built on anything strong enough to withstand possible life choices, so this really isn't just you. Thousands of couples go through this every year, and it's hard for all of them. It would be very unfair (as I hope you realize) for you to pressure her to stay in town and continue dating you. She needs to do what is best for her. It's good for her to go out and travel and move and experience life, even if she isn't experiencing it with you. Not that me saying those things would make her choices any less painful for you, but you should be urged to do the same as well. Life isn't always about staying put and clinging to what always was, it's about finding what works for you, even if that's not the same as what worked in the past.
------- So when you're happy (Hurray!), or sad (Aw!), Or frightened (Eeek!), or mad (Rats!) An interjection starts a sentence right.
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JennyColada
I'm watching you.
Patron
Support Leader
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Quote: from Brawler at 11:50 am on Aug. 29, 2008
it just sounds to me like this well thought out plan that works for both of us has been shoved out of the way because she wants to go to NY all the time. She doesnt even know anything about the NJ college, just that its colse to NY and she could live with her cousin. 
I know that this is going to sound ruder than I mean it to, but: So? You whining and complaining and pouting about it like a child really isn't going to help. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it may be a bit unfair. But it's her life, and she needs to make choices that she thinks are right (even if they seem chaotic and stupid to you). If she feels forced to not go when she wants to that doesn't mean that she's going to stay home and be happy with you anyway, especially if she feels like you were the main reason she made the choice to not go and experience what she wanted to. Her plans are changing, but that doesn't mean that the previous plan was even any good. Yes, it worked out for you two as a couple, but that isn't the only thing that matters. Just because a school has what she wants education-wise and allows her to transfer to a different school, THAT'S not all that matters either. Life is about expereince, not just reading books. Her life isn't about keeping you two together and happy, it's about HER. Yea, you're being left out in the cold and that really does suck, and I can totally see why you'd be frustrated, annoyed, hurt, or angry, but that's just something you're going to have to deal with, because I think it'd be unfair for you to do otherwise. You'll meet other people, as will she. This is hardly the end of your world. I mean, really, no one looks back and thinks "wow, that first high school relationship of mine. Yea, that was IT. He was THE ONE!" Sorry bud, I really am. Life would be so much better if no one got their heartbroken and if everything ended with a storybook ending, but it doesn't, and we just need to roll with the punches, good and bad.
------- So when you're happy (Hurray!), or sad (Aw!), Or frightened (Eeek!), or mad (Rats!) An interjection starts a sentence right.
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Micus
Like hell you will
Patron
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Also, which makes more sense... going to a community college, then a state school, then a DIFFERENT college or just going to one in an ideal location? Also, even couples that date from high school to college EVEN WHEN they're going to the same school and taking the same classes, MOST of them break up. Because the college environment is just so, so different from anything you've known that far. There are boys. Lots of them. She's going to get pulled in about thirty different directions, the last thing she is going to want to do is to tie herself down with more of the same. You know? It'll all be clear once you get to school... you'll see.
------- Educators destroy your brain, but you don't know, so why care? Fagotto
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12:03 pm on Aug. 29, 2008 | Joined Oct. 2004 | 1082 Days Active Join to learn more about Micus Connecticut, United States | Gay Male | 18410 Posts | 31456 Points
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