I'm ready to take your criticism, but please be gentle. What Should I do? I've tried so hard to forget about her, but I keep thinking of her seeing other guys, doing god knows what with them.

Maybe I have problems, but, what can I do?

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Breath in the pain, and exhale the joy.

SO. What I'm suggesting, is that find someone else to fill her space in your mind, even if it's a little crush. Find someone or something else to fill that void. And I strongly recommend getting rid of the stuff that reminds you of her. It doesn't help much.

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Shit happens. Learn from it, get over it, & move on.
Myspace

Good luck.

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I am me as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
Yo soy yo como tu eres el como tu eres yo y todos somos juntos.

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This is what I did when I was in the long "process" of getting over my ex:
-Threw out most of the stuff that reminded me of him; what I wanted to keep, I packed away.
-Deleted and blocked him from all messengers and my phone
-Started dating other guys  
-Starting seeing myself with other guys rather than with him

SO. What I'm suggesting, is that find someone else to fill her space in your mind, even if it's a little crush. Find someone or something else to fill that void. And I strongly recommend getting rid of the stuff that reminds you of her. It doesn't help much.

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This!

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Dont tell me the sky is the limit, when there are footprints on the moon.

I know all of this should be a red flag for me to hate her and forget about her, but I can only do that partially. Sure, I really do hate her for immediately putting herself back on the 'market' and hooking up with random guys for flings, but it does hurt.

And the fact that she would rather die in a fiery pit of death, than to hold a simple one minute conversation with me, complicates this even more.

I appreciate all the help though, from everyone that replied so far. I appreciate it.

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Breath in the pain, and exhale the joy.

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if she dosen't want to talk then i don't know what you should do

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Yeah, thats the hard part. I can accept that the relationship is over, and nothing better will come out of it... but I'm the type of person that would like closure. Sure, the end of the relationship itself is closure, but, I want to talk to her. Like, maybe have one more conversation with her. One to end all. Just, a conversation I could have with her to settle things, and walk away from. But, I guess I won't get that.

And to HatesYou, yes, you're right. It's common, but, for the first timer, it's pretty harsh.

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Breath in the pain, and exhale the joy.

just so you know, i don't blame you for feeling horrible. it sounds like this was one of your only relationships so it's understandable that you feel empty after you invested so much into this girl. what you have to realize though is she is not "the one" and that there are other millions of other awesome women out there.

have you been going out and staying social? i'm guessing you haven't. that's one of the most important ways to get over a break-up. you can find new women to talk to, new people to help you with your problems, and you'll have less free time to get caught up in your head about this situation. going out will keep your energy high and let you understand that people are let down all the time and that break-ups happen between great people.

you're also probably caught up wondering why she broke up with you. i know that i would do the same kind of thing. if you really want to find out then by all means go talk to her or just recall what she said to you as you broke up. it might help you in the future or it could hurt you more. if you don't want to know right away, just go out and keep being a strong person and look back later once the wounds are more healed.

Now he won't talk to me whatsoever, I keep craving that one last conversation, but from the progress I've made without him around I know that conversation will land me back up at square 1 and I'll be vying for his attention again. Quite honestly, it would be attention you're seeking from an ex, to let her know you're still around. You don't really want that.

Find some infatuation or other crush to help you get over things. People might not recommend transferring feelings to someone else but it worked for me. I acted like my ex now meant nothing and placed all these feelings on someone else. Because this someone else was someone I didn't have a history with and I couldn't realistically get with them, it helped me get over them. Therefore conquering the feelings by proxy, and without the hurt and diminishing the relationship I had with my ex.

You don't need her around, trust me. Find other people to entertain your time with.

I still want to talk to my ex occasionally, but in my head I know it'll just fuck me over.

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From a distance you look like my friend,

even though we are at war.

And Unusualone, I've tried your suggestion. It did help immensely for a short while, but even while I'm spending all my energy being interested and infatuated with another woman, I would still have those stray thoughts of my ex.

I've tried all I could, but there isn't a way to block out those useless thoughts. But, maybe if I try harder I could achieve it.

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Breath in the pain, and exhale the joy.

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I've tried all I could, but there isn't a way to block out those useless thoughts. But, maybe if I try harder I could achieve it.

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don't try to block the thoughts because you can't usually control what you think. instead, do things that will give you less downtime thereby giving you less time to think negatively. exciting hobbies are usually the best way to keep yourself upbeat and they give you a great chance to have fun!

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Quote: from CrimsonTears at 10:34 am on July 29, 2008

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I've tried all I could, but there isn't a way to block out those useless thoughts. But, maybe if I try harder I could achieve it.

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don't try to block the thoughts because you can't usually control what you think. instead, do things that will give you less downtime thereby giving you less time to think negatively. exciting hobbies are usually the best way to keep yourself upbeat and they give you a great chance to have fun!

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I guess you're right. Except, I had just recently quit a job working for my uncle because I couldn't function right. Even hanging out with friends, doing the fun things I love... I'd still think about her.

I have a lot of hobbies, and sure, I'll go for days without any thought, but it always seems to come back around and bite me in the ass.

For some reason, the more I think about her, the worse it gets, yet... the less I think about her, the more it rips me apart when the random memories flare up.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, to be honest. I can go about my day without even bothering to think about her, and I'd be fine... but eventually, somehow... I'd get reminded of her. Then, all hell breaks loose for five minutes while I try to recuperate.

Hanging out with friends and going out has helped, but she somehow finds a way to interrupt even the best days I've had out with her memories.

How'd I become so attached? And is there any way I could remove myself from this attachment? Even when I don't try to think about her, she'll manage to crawl into an unoccupied crevice in my mind somehow. And I HATE that.

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Breath in the pain, and exhale the joy.