How can I leave this town? these memories. where will I swim, if not at Lincoln Park and Island acres. Won't I get lost, torn away from Patterson and the Orchard Avenue? How can I shop somewhere besides City Market? I don't want to leave this place of childhood memories.

And yet, it is becoming less the place of my childhood and more a city to escape. Big Woody, the foundation for rope swings and hammocks, bird feeders and nests is gone. We cut him down a few months ago. My backyard is empty. The picnic area on 31 1/2 rd was torn down, and the road between the highway and E 1/2 was destroyed. I had hoped they'd do somethign about that intersection but now that they have, I want the picnic area back. Things are changing, people are moving in and moving on, I am moving on too.

I'm scared to leave, but if I stay here I will try to hang on to the past, to dwell in how things once were instead of living in the moment. My friends are leaving, this is no longer where I want my home to be. Maybe eventually I will make my way back here, but for now, I can't deal wtih the changes. If I can't have it how I was, I want to leave and start over somewhere new. A clean slate, a new beginning. New pictures to take, and new memories to create.

I can only pray that they be good memories, and beautiful pictures. I leave in 3 weeks. In just 3 weeks, I leave the town of my childhood forever, never to return. For when I return, it won't be the place of my memories but yet another clean slate, time to start over once again.