I they all have amazing boyfirends in amazing professions. I dont want to mention specifics. But im sure they are great boyfriends and offer alot of support.

What is really disturbing to me is sometimes they kiss other guys and like act as if they are single, and dance with all the horny guys while they're boyfriends arnt around. Even with such amazing boyfriends they still feel the need to try other people? Doesnt that mean that their current boyfriend isnt enough"? Then they started talking about having someone to fall back on, and how good it feels when they are done making out with everyone on the dance floor they go back to their boyfriends.

These arnt sluts, they are my close friends but it seems like they are open relationships.

Just yesterday I was thinking to myself that I could never get one of those girls because I could never measure up to their current boyfriends. Which means even if I give it all I got, I will be no where near capable of having a girlfriend.

My dreams of having a wife and kids are ruinined, I find it hard to keep going. I also have a disease that is hereditary and to father a  child would be cursing him/her for life. I just cant do that.

For once I feel like I finally understand my place in life, and that is to not be in it at all. Theres nothing left for me to believe in.

There are other girls out there, too.  Why do you feel as though you can't measure up to their current boyfriends?  

Don't let your dreams be dashed, especially not that of having a family.  There's always adoption; my boyfriend was adopted into an amazing family that treats him as though he were their biological son.  Just because your having a biological child isn't smart doesn't mean you can't be a father.  

Keep your chin up and your smile on, you too will have someone.  I know waiting for that blows, but it will come.  

I wish you all the best.    

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"The soul that is within me no man can degrade."---Frederick Douglass