Things have started to get on top of me lately and I'm finding getting through the day hard but I know that my problems aren't as bad as some peoples and I should be coping with them better. Basically my mum and I can't get on. It started about 6 months ago when we fell out big time and ended up not talking a few weeks ago. It was then when we started talking again but each time we do we can't seem to go a day without having a massive argument. Today we went out for a meal, had a great time but when we got home just fell out - again. I don't know exactly why we don't get on because I really want to and she seems want to get along too. She is a difficult person to be around and I've been told that by a few people but I'm headstrong and opinionated and I think that I must be part of the problem even though I try my best. So basically I've resigned myself to the fact that the relationship that I once had with my mum is irretrievable and that thought hurts allot.
The other thing is that I am 16 and still have no idea where my life is going at the moment. My social and personal life is very restricted by my parents, if I go out in anything remotely feminine or wear make-up then to them I look like a slag. I would love to move out but I don't know here I'd go or what I'd do and I couldn't leave my dogs with my parents. I had a master plan that now I have a 10 week holiday from school that I could sort myself out, find a job and be happy but it's failing.
I'm finding it hard to cope with life now - I'm having trouble eating right, i can't sleep, i feel ill and sometimes I just break down and cry. For the last two hours all I've done is cry and listen to coldplay (and I don't even like coldplay that much). I can't really see a reason or an end to it. I don't even know why I wrote this but I suppose it has helped to write it all down.