I feel lonely in college.  Most days I don't have the will to wake up or the will to even live.  I dread each day as I see people with their groups of friends smiling and having such a great time, and I see myself all alone.  It such an awful feeling, I feel totally alienated.  Sometime I want them to know I'm friendly but I can't smile naturally, and I know I have a weird face, that I don't know what really the point of it.  I know I'm a nice guy deep down, but if other people don't realize that, it absolutely make no differences.

I spent most of my times in my room.  Most of the time alone and miserable, and I sleep most of the times.  I know I already screw up any chances of making friends, maybe lifelong friend also.  I just hate college so much, I have absolutely nothing going for me, I haven't done well in school either since I am always so depress I just don't have the energy to study.  I manage to get part time status that wouldn't affect my FA because of my SAD, but I am still doing poorly in school.  I often question my existence...

Chris

my aim is bluskypeChris if anyone want to talk to me.

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Porn stars for President!

I sympathise completely and I would love to talk to you more sometime. I have been isolating myself more and more over the past few years for the same basic reason - Social Anxiety. I have been feeling very depressed because of my own issues in my past and I guess basically I have been scared of people and the world generally. So I have *some* idea where you're coming from even if I can't claim to understand your life from one short post here.

My advice to you though is exactly what you don't want to hear, and I think you know it already. You need to get out and meet people and if you can't do that then you need to address the issues underlying your fears.

This is really important. I am in a terrible position right now where I am lonely and distraught because of the very behaviour that you are describing. I refused advances by people who would have been friends and now I find myself in a situation where I need them the most of course I don't have any.

Now you sound like you are already in a situation where you feel desperately alone and you have no support and that's exactly why people need friends. You need someone there for you when things go to the fan who can tell you that it's going to work out, who can tell you that you'll be okay and who can buoy you up when you are having trouble living.

I know you are scared mate, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to start reaching out to people. I know how impossibly hard that sounds and I guess you have to be pretty scared to be doing what you are right now and trying to survive on your own. But there are lots of people in the world who will help you if you ask them. It's easy to sit alone and become consumed by your fears and your feelings so that no-one can help you, but really, you HAVE to reach out and let people help you. When you do you will feel so good and it WILL make the effort worthwhile.

There must be a local organisation for people with metal health problems or people who are in need? Is there an on-campus counselling service with a drop in you could go to? Try to find someone somewhere who you can just drop into for a chat, a cup of coffee and some advice. WHen you share your problems you get a clear minded alternate view that can steer you when you can't steer yourself.

What I urge you to do more than anything else though is to seek professional counselling for your underlying problems. SAD does not pop up overnight for no reason. You know as well as I do that there is something in your past that has started this whole situation and unless you address those issues and confront your own inner feelings you will continue to be trapped by this condition. Make sure you take some steps to address these issues.

Are you taking any drugs? If not have you considered Paxil or one of the SSRIs? They can be very effective against panic attacks and social anxiety - many people find their panic attacks are markedly reduced and the drugs are generally non-addictive and have relatively few side effects in comparison to the massive benefits that can offer. If you haven't already then investigate this avenue.

It's important that you take action as soon as you can because you are making decisions now that will affect the rest of your life and you need to make the best decisions you can.

Good luck, and please get in touch if you just want a friend to talk to who has some experience okay?

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